I really dont see the point of counting birthdays after this. From any standpoint we thing age is just a number but to the courageous it means absolutely nothing. Being too young isnt an really excuse anymore outside of Enterprise Rent-A-Car. Derrick Rose won the NBA MvP at the age of 22. I thought turning 21 was going to be my Be-a-man turnaround, but i realize, or im trying to realize that this thing takes time, and undeniable situations that you learn from. As an explorer we keep aware for others mistakes, but you really cant avoid those ugly situations that keep your head from floating too high. As our bodies fight for better or to stasis you grow older and are confronted with both good and evil.
Simply stated, no pain no gain. And life is going really well as June hits. So im expecting bad things to happen. I cant get too excited this weekend, I may not come down for a while, but Murphys law taught me that the bigger they are, the harder they fall. As positive as I can be, I just see this learning expirience as God's Blessings. I been on this planet for about 22 years and it took me a while to start asking myself questions. I played basketball yesterday and was in an uncomfortable position. I couldn't cascade with the highschool kids and yet I was weak amongst the zealous strength of the older men. Its up to me to really decide if im ready to let go or keep fighting at this "basketball career". I have no expectations put onto me, and that's when I can ignore it and move on with life, or look back and invite feelings of alienation with a sprinkle of hope, similar to the bricklayer who builds his castles in the air.
Growing older you know you will die. You just know it. From time to time you ignore it in favor of the contemporary now. Zen. Tonight. Whats good TONIGHT. And the good part is that Im the youngest kid at the bar who has never bought a "round" on a Friday or Saturday Night. I finally have a job that i could afford it from time to time. I can take a girl out on a date, or if im Bold, a whole day of Fucking around at Disneyland/DCA. I can take my mom out for dinner, or as she would perfer, save money and make turkey burgers. Emancipate. I have a long long journey, with short and long term benchmarks and a curiosity that calls for an ambiguous education. I want to study what I love, but before love, i want to take care of Business, Business Administration. I want to study English, and give my opinion on the classics, and go into the minds of real writers, and heck, scribble, communicate, and transcribe my way to graduation, but that will not a journey of this economy. Getting my Business done is sort of like my ticket out of Mississippi Burning. I'm not saying its slavery, as it has become very enjoyable, but as i write this coming of age blog, I want to be forever young. Seeking joy in lifes mysteries. I need you to need me, is where i feel ecstacy. I want to be 25, and cool. I want to be a Pretty Good Boyfriend to the Girl who understands and is happy with the guy who is trying his best but its not observable.It may not be Noticeable. Trust and Humor and I promise things get better and we get younger. I want to be 26 and educated, mentoring high school students before their senior year. My youngest brother got to see alot unfold, but its until he is pressured himself he sees change in his life. He can learn from my mistakes, but only so much.
I wanna keep writing although my blogs are just journal entries i try to play off as sumptious when i display them for public consumption. Im not profound, or imposing, nor will i ever try to be. Im very secure with myself and my initial decision to write, along with the privacy of this blog persevere. I want to shape my own life, and i venture out into the open, Interplay with nature , smile at girls, shake hands with strangers, collaborate with enemies, Take one for the team, and ask the socratic, come back and write suspecting, but accepting that the clock never stops. A realist in most cases, but when I was a kid i lost my sandle in Fantasyland, and never gave up trying to find it. There are people that live with no fear. Its something you can get to, you either have to be under the age of 1 or older than 21 for that. I have a Hard Head, but weak Faith. Sadly Weak Faith. Better said: Misdirected Faith. Because who is to say I am strong minded with weak faith? Who is to say 25 year olds cannot graduate from school. As i look precedently I try to do so with an open mind. I want to take on challenges and tax myself beyond any interrigator. I want to give my body that abuse, knowing that we humans have healing power. I want to perpare myself, because i heard the first rule in law school is you raise your hand if you feel certain about your answer to the question, because you probably will be called upon, and you dont want to be called when you are not informed.
Excitement. The moment and ahead i will always look behind me. I have one call, and one thing to put on my bucket list. To dunk a basketball. I have perpared a TimeTable and an appropriate wager. This is an attainable goal, practicable and very difficult. It will be a challenge and will require handiwork and belief and sweat and all that good shit. The generous timeframe ends on June 1st 2012.
I will complete a real dunk on a 10 foot hoop, and right after that I will do the Racks Dance and if there is no girls around ill flex. haha
if i fail... I will delete this blog along with every post and Teaismydestiny.blogspot.com will become available to the aspiring blogger. Something so strong and appropriate to wager, this blog is worthless like anything that isn't moving me into my goals. Money cant buy everything. Lets Get it. 22 dunking is my individual deed. Stay Positive.
is you feeling me?
if not you feel my energy
see I know I’mma make it, but even if I don’t
don’t feel bad cuz honestly all these times that I had
those will be the best memories
Cuz in the End all you really have is Memories
-Big Sean
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