Monday, November 29, 2010
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Sleep on it.
Thats why God give you night.
Last night i was faced with the toughest "keep your cool" and smile situation in my 1 year something tenure track at the Tangy Tomato. Why/How did i get pushed so far last night? Why was i so enraged at that point, its not like me. I think its the meeting point of causation between it being a wednesday night, the team was short staffed due to a catering, and my close coming resignation from the restaurant. It all hit me at once and the scrawny 20 something year old who rubbed me the wrong way at the wrong time exposed almost everything i try to take out of my picture frame. God you are so great to challenge me on the eve of Thanksgiving.
I was going to write this last night. as the rage only continues when you get into the car and reflect on your 30 min drive home from work. It only gets more creative. i was writing lines in my head. Being so negative i diddnt want to take it to my pride and joy. My blog. Not this thanksgiving. We give thanks. Thankful yes i am. For what? starting with the most basic and prevalent.
Ok i gotta go study but its Quote time
"Conquer your enemies with love" -Gandhi
Last night i was faced with the toughest "keep your cool" and smile situation in my 1 year something tenure track at the Tangy Tomato. Why/How did i get pushed so far last night? Why was i so enraged at that point, its not like me. I think its the meeting point of causation between it being a wednesday night, the team was short staffed due to a catering, and my close coming resignation from the restaurant. It all hit me at once and the scrawny 20 something year old who rubbed me the wrong way at the wrong time exposed almost everything i try to take out of my picture frame. God you are so great to challenge me on the eve of Thanksgiving.
I was going to write this last night. as the rage only continues when you get into the car and reflect on your 30 min drive home from work. It only gets more creative. i was writing lines in my head. Being so negative i diddnt want to take it to my pride and joy. My blog. Not this thanksgiving. We give thanks. Thankful yes i am. For what? starting with the most basic and prevalent.
- I'm Thankful for the day off. To spend with Mom Rishi and Jet.
- Thanks Dad and Jai for holding down the restaurant. For which its success makes for a better life for our family. A better life for Dad and Mom namely. Im so glad my mom doesn't have to work though she chooses to.
- Thank you Jet. When i look into your eyes, i see the reflection of my power to love. The greatest ability i have was generated through your unconditional loving. You never say anything but you communicate to me very accurately(that your hungry) lol. I really don't think i would be the same without you, you have shaped me more than most humans.
- To the Beautiful Young Wordsmith who brought me into blogging. When i first saw your blog and witnessed your innate creativity it was like you popped open the wine bottle i bundle these thoughts and Ideas. Now im trying to keep up with the word play in order to win "The Competition".
- To my youngest brother. You Never Gave Up. When i would have given up. You diddnt. Damn thank you for opening up my eyes. I live vicariously now, instead of creating my dream years ago, i let the pen down. I threw in the towel but you diddnt. Thank you for showing me something i can apply anywhere in life.
- Jai, the thinker. I know you are going to make it because you have a very rhythmic approach and we can all relate to it. Your working very dearly, but i want you to keep it moving. Out of us 3 you are the most sensory. Im thankful for you and will do whatevers necesary for your success.
- To my Older brother Kobe. The craft. Its in the Craft. You have shaped my mind so much. I know we are illusioned to glorify heroes in our culture, but i see it differently. You glorify the pain involved in Championships, not the Champaigne afterwards. For you, you love the journey. and the slow realization of that became the single greatest motivation as i move through life. I rep the lakers, but i rep your outlook the most. THE MOST. Thank You.
- Dad. This is going to be a weird one. Its crazy how your more passionate about me cutting hair than going to a law school. I guess its what you see in me and how i got to cutting hair. its defeinetly a story to tell, but your story is greater. You took what you loved the most and created something out of it. You are no Doctor or Engineer, but an Artist. And i think it shows with your peers where your personality stands out. ill probably write a whole nother blog of appreciation, but for now im thanking you for all your support,
- Mother I love you. Im so proud of you. Thank you for being the most Beautiful Woman in the world.
- California State University. Thank you for being my gateway. For the professionals to push me. The education i need. The Degree with 2 concentrations. The reminder that i have to hustle to compete with students who have more money and go to more prestigeous universities. I see it. Thank you for putting my foot in the door. "Formal education will get you a job but self education will get you rich"
- Parker Haniffin Aerospace. Thank you for the Job Offer. Even though i start in June. I will treat every day at your corporation like my interview day. Unlike the jobs in the past, i will now work for a CEO and Shareholders.
Ok i gotta go study but its Quote time
"Conquer your enemies with love" -Gandhi
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Algorithm
"I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but"
Via the help of wikipedia i explain a physiological fallacy called the Appeal to emotion.
Conclusively, the appeal to emotion fallacy presents a perspective intended to be superior to reason. Appeals to emotion are intended to draw visceral feelings from the acquirer of the information. And in turn, the acquirer of the information is intended to be convinced that the statements that were presented in the fallacious argument are true; solely on the basis that the statements may induce emotional stimulation such as fear, pity and joy. Though these emotions may be provoked by an appeal to emotion fallacy, substantial proof of the argument is not offered, and the argument's premises remain invalid.
What was just explained was the reason we shell out money to watch a movie or purchase a CD. Its why you would zealously bump your head and close your eyes to music because you can relate times in your life to whats being presented almost seamlessly. Almost as if you share the same pessimistic mindset. Almost as if they know you personally. Its like Its where Marketing and your Brain work together to extract money out of your pocket. Its the reason why i bought Kid Cudi's CD. Never has a song like Track 11 hit my emotions so perseveringly in manner. Scott, i swear my own life fantasy of being named after Neil Armstrong will be evident every time i hear something sci-fi. I swear i feel like the man on the moon sometimes.
Actually most of the the time. I don't know how long it took to land on the moon, but i know you have to be alone for a while going from earth into the unknown. My unknown happened to be a series of situations i wasforced into. its not much, its not crazy, its just my life and social sacrifices i am not accustomed to. Its staying home on a Thursday night quelling my thirst is water. its working and making money and love that my car sounds so powerful as i drive to school in the morning. The same car that i don't deserve to drive. Its loving the room i left in order to become independent. its not going into detail with people about why I moved away from my apartment and back into my moms house. Its the debate we all go through in the morning. My debate starts with 2 blankets and the warmth of My bed versus my luck in the cold world. I created a monster in me. During the last few weeks it nearly embezzled me until i found out that i got a job in the summer, which ultimately sealed a job for me after i graduated. I had to celebrate. I know I'm sounding negative, but in reality i do love life and love the opportunities provided. I always stray away from the big picture, which is, i have a home, i have a family, i have clean water, and i can read. I was given 2 eyes to read, and from reading, i can absorb so much information from libraries of literature. I'm also very young at 21 years of age i have so much to read.
This monster was dormant and somehow was vitalized when i played the cd over and over. Number 11 being the catalist i feel like it was a police description of what i would like to call my "Algorithm".
I come to this place, in the shadows, its my blog. my hideaway. Its my escape from the present. where i can share information to the seekers who seek it. and it serves as the mirror to my self. Not a reflective one that shows a smile, but an emotional recount of my beating heart. My Algorithm has been changed a few times but sometime during the last six weeks i got a glimpse into my own way of thinking. I come back and i have one goal through it all. I want to be a Man. A REAL MAN (pinnochio voice, lol). If i want to go to grad school as a 30 year old with my own saved money vs. a 22 year old puppet of my father, its going to be a tough decision. I hate depending on other people. I would much rather do it myself. It aggitates me to think i would be financially dependent to somebody else. it bothers me. It would bother me as a potential man to live somebody else dream. I have one life as Neil Syal. Right now its Neil Raj Syal, but i want my first name to be uninterupted.
This next part is going to be really perplexing to explain.
Being a man is my algorithm. Its how i know frame everything from women who need a protector for our children.. To my brothers who need advice to live out their dreams. To my mother who is still protective. To the Job Recruiter who probably thinks i will do ANYTHING to have a position. Im hardwired to be this way. Going to law school is a great thing. I want to do it. but now im thinking if i were to just go and not credit myself in the world, im not only wasting my education, im spending somebody else's money. I would be in a financially dependent circumstance to my father. Thats not a man. I want to go to law school on my terms. The JD degree behind my name would reflect my sacrifice to get there. weather it be working full time while getting it or thinking of something creative. I made the deans list a few semesters ago. While i dont think its very hard to make it there. (school is easy) I made the deans list and diddnt even shake the deans right hand because i was at disneyland washing dishes using both hands on that thursday evening. i hope the audience clapped with their hands a little extra despite my absence because that was one of two jobs needed to pay my rent for the month. everytime i look at the award i am not reminded of my 3.7 g.p.a. that semester. its deeper.
Through Maniac, i have identified my Algorithm and will continue to explore it in week 13 of School.
"Live every week like its Shark Week"
Via the help of wikipedia i explain a physiological fallacy called the Appeal to emotion.
Conclusively, the appeal to emotion fallacy presents a perspective intended to be superior to reason. Appeals to emotion are intended to draw visceral feelings from the acquirer of the information. And in turn, the acquirer of the information is intended to be convinced that the statements that were presented in the fallacious argument are true; solely on the basis that the statements may induce emotional stimulation such as fear, pity and joy. Though these emotions may be provoked by an appeal to emotion fallacy, substantial proof of the argument is not offered, and the argument's premises remain invalid.
What was just explained was the reason we shell out money to watch a movie or purchase a CD. Its why you would zealously bump your head and close your eyes to music because you can relate times in your life to whats being presented almost seamlessly. Almost as if you share the same pessimistic mindset. Almost as if they know you personally. Its like Its where Marketing and your Brain work together to extract money out of your pocket. Its the reason why i bought Kid Cudi's CD. Never has a song like Track 11 hit my emotions so perseveringly in manner. Scott, i swear my own life fantasy of being named after Neil Armstrong will be evident every time i hear something sci-fi. I swear i feel like the man on the moon sometimes.
Actually most of the the time. I don't know how long it took to land on the moon, but i know you have to be alone for a while going from earth into the unknown. My unknown happened to be a series of situations i was
This monster was dormant and somehow was vitalized when i played the cd over and over. Number 11 being the catalist i feel like it was a police description of what i would like to call my "Algorithm".
I come to this place, in the shadows, its my blog. my hideaway. Its my escape from the present. where i can share information to the seekers who seek it. and it serves as the mirror to my self. Not a reflective one that shows a smile, but an emotional recount of my beating heart. My Algorithm has been changed a few times but sometime during the last six weeks i got a glimpse into my own way of thinking. I come back and i have one goal through it all. I want to be a Man. A REAL MAN (pinnochio voice, lol). If i want to go to grad school as a 30 year old with my own saved money vs. a 22 year old puppet of my father, its going to be a tough decision. I hate depending on other people. I would much rather do it myself. It aggitates me to think i would be financially dependent to somebody else. it bothers me. It would bother me as a potential man to live somebody else dream. I have one life as Neil Syal. Right now its Neil Raj Syal, but i want my first name to be uninterupted.
This next part is going to be really perplexing to explain.
Being a man is my algorithm. Its how i know frame everything from women who need a protector for our children.. To my brothers who need advice to live out their dreams. To my mother who is still protective. To the Job Recruiter who probably thinks i will do ANYTHING to have a position. Im hardwired to be this way. Going to law school is a great thing. I want to do it. but now im thinking if i were to just go and not credit myself in the world, im not only wasting my education, im spending somebody else's money. I would be in a financially dependent circumstance to my father. Thats not a man. I want to go to law school on my terms. The JD degree behind my name would reflect my sacrifice to get there. weather it be working full time while getting it or thinking of something creative. I made the deans list a few semesters ago. While i dont think its very hard to make it there. (school is easy) I made the deans list and diddnt even shake the deans right hand because i was at disneyland washing dishes using both hands on that thursday evening. i hope the audience clapped with their hands a little extra despite my absence because that was one of two jobs needed to pay my rent for the month. everytime i look at the award i am not reminded of my 3.7 g.p.a. that semester. its deeper.
Through Maniac, i have identified my Algorithm and will continue to explore it in week 13 of School.
"Live every week like its Shark Week"
Thursday, November 11, 2010
A Real Job?
I can relate. unless you fed me your entire story i feel like i might know what you are going through. They asked me if the customer is always right. I responded "Of Course, the Customer is ALWAYS right, because without revenues supplied by themmmmmm, we cant construct a capital structure. I diddnt get into any economics, but that would be the only way i could keep talking without getting my true feelings adjacent.
As a customer, i cant help but accept whatever i get. I now hold a great respect to every server at denny's working the early morning shift. Every bartender, bouncer, and especially the bathroom attendent. I try to start conversations and do my best to make their day. Recently this became really important to me. It became really important to me to view my peoples as equals, or even above. My innate satisfaction with life tends to always be on my side. the cup overflows onto the table and drips on the floor.
They asked me how i prioritize things in my life. I answered pretty liquiditly and said that i love people. I love my social life, but the promise made to me by the university and a even more liquid element (my job) i have the satisfaction to know that most of my friends are staying for good so i can concentrate singlemindedly on what offers a promise. The promise though, was given to me standing in front of a mirror. or a piece of glass to be dramatic, where 2 pupils turned into 4 looking in the same direction.
I put that to the test in the month of october. I understood my need to socialize and party. Losing myself in the process i found that in this rare month of 5 full weekends, i spend a minimal amount of time doing the weekend. In Chris Hedges' masterpiece "The Empire of Illusion" i immediately understood how human beings are so "maleable" or should i say easy to please. My interpretation of the facebook like button is the same as ordering off the mcdonalds picture menu, its easy convienient and it appeals to the masses. I feel like its true that we lack culture and depend on the media to provide the fodder for our nutrition. IF they asked me what my strength was. I would respond with a smile. Because it is what it is. I was brought to this planet to touch hearts.
Well today there were no more behavioral questions. There was one though.
Actually it was more like an offer.
I missed his call(heart jumped), called back, (skipped a beat).
It was a JOB offer. an internship yes. but the step 1 which in pareto principle, was more important than all my other steps combined . I wanted it. I wanted it the right way.
i celebrated.
Now its back to work. i have the day off tommorow.
but i have a to-do list that is waiting to undress a whole 8.5x11.
Thank You Kobe.
Thank You Family
Thank you God.
I have so much more to do. But i cant say that this is a real job relative to ones ive had before. It is a job though, that will utilize my knowledge and force me to think.
=]
As a customer, i cant help but accept whatever i get. I now hold a great respect to every server at denny's working the early morning shift. Every bartender, bouncer, and especially the bathroom attendent. I try to start conversations and do my best to make their day. Recently this became really important to me. It became really important to me to view my peoples as equals, or even above. My innate satisfaction with life tends to always be on my side. the cup overflows onto the table and drips on the floor.
They asked me how i prioritize things in my life. I answered pretty liquiditly and said that i love people. I love my social life, but the promise made to me by the university and a even more liquid element (my job) i have the satisfaction to know that most of my friends are staying for good so i can concentrate singlemindedly on what offers a promise. The promise though, was given to me standing in front of a mirror. or a piece of glass to be dramatic, where 2 pupils turned into 4 looking in the same direction.
I put that to the test in the month of october. I understood my need to socialize and party. Losing myself in the process i found that in this rare month of 5 full weekends, i spend a minimal amount of time doing the weekend. In Chris Hedges' masterpiece "The Empire of Illusion" i immediately understood how human beings are so "maleable" or should i say easy to please. My interpretation of the facebook like button is the same as ordering off the mcdonalds picture menu, its easy convienient and it appeals to the masses. I feel like its true that we lack culture and depend on the media to provide the fodder for our nutrition. IF they asked me what my strength was. I would respond with a smile. Because it is what it is. I was brought to this planet to touch hearts.
Well today there were no more behavioral questions. There was one though.
Actually it was more like an offer.
I missed his call(heart jumped), called back, (skipped a beat).
It was a JOB offer. an internship yes. but the step 1 which in pareto principle, was more important than all my other steps combined . I wanted it. I wanted it the right way.
i celebrated.
Now its back to work. i have the day off tommorow.
but i have a to-do list that is waiting to undress a whole 8.5x11.
Thank You Kobe.
Thank You Family
Thank you God.
I have so much more to do. But i cant say that this is a real job relative to ones ive had before. It is a job though, that will utilize my knowledge and force me to think.
=]
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Act I the world I am ruling
Yeah
Welcome,
Welcome You
Hey
I am your big brother,
What do I have to say to the kids?
Let go, life does get tough
No need to stress,
Hold you back too much,
Lets go I heard they found a solution
Where’ll you be for the Revolution?
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Wednesday, November 3, 2010
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