Veni Vidi

This will probably be the hardest blog to date. Simply because i feel like a water balloon filled to its exact absolute. Faced with 2 decisions to either live life on the brink, or let go. I popped at around 1:30pm this Friday. Im not a water balloon though. I am a bit discomposed. Positively, because from 1:30 today and 1:30p.m. (on the Fuckin dot) Next Friday is the rest of my life before my first interview for an Accounting Internship.  I asked for it. I applied with that single piece of   electronic paper that is supposed to be represent every plasma, cell, and platelets that carry oxygen and nutrients that carry back the by-products. On that note i have a rapid heartbeat, and i don't think its going to ever go away.

Strategic decisions i have made since my change have end resulted in things like this. Opportunities. I finally feel like i am thinking clearly and heading in the right direction. Its innate now. I made a decision to stay for my 5th year in school. Now i have an internships interview. Causation. Opportunity. I love it. The challenge to me, and all im going to be thinking about for the next week leading up to friday is, How am i supposed to par with this interviewer. How honest? Staying positive is the name of the game, but what will tug is my internal love struggle . 

I have a certain "Lust" for life.  and I'm beginning to view human beings differently in terms of their intentions and I'm getting quicker to see somebody for being genuine. when you professionally network, you have an agenda. And thats not a situation i would like to be in. I want to make friends with somebody and land this internship, i think something has got to give in this situation.  Things have tottally changed in some "respects". I've always loved people. Always. But i used to respect alot of people. Thats changing day by day as im in search of a hero, A big brother to help make sure im heading in the right places. 

I look at the graduate students much differently when presented to me. i know a 27 year old who finished her Juris Doctor but has never worked a day in her life. She had the grades so i shook my head like yeah im impressed. Should i land this internship, my resume now has some relevant work expirience only to replace my sandwich making and dishwashing experience. and i know it means absolutely nothing to that girls mother, but its those jobs at the bottom that make me feel deserving of what's next. Its that core, its the real love that was at stake when i had so much on my mind. I was silent, and on friday at 1:30 i  get to speak. 

I came, I saw, 

(thats what she said)